“I Am Not My Thoughts”: Unraveling the Illusion of the Mind
By Sarah Claire Colling, LMHC, QS | Bungalow Counseling
If you’ve ever felt trapped inside your own mind, caught in anxious loops, self-criticism, or old narratives that just won’t let go—you’re not alone. Most of us move through life assuming that our thoughts ARE US and that the voice in our head is telling the truth, and that the stories it spins about who we are and what’s possible for us are real.
But what if they’re not?
What if you are not your thoughts—but something far deeper, something steadier, something that doesn’t change with every anxious spiral or moment of self-doubt?
In my work as a therapist, and in my own life as a human, I’ve seen how liberating this realization can be. It’s a truth woven through ancient wisdom, modern neuroscience, and contemplative faith traditions alike. So many teachings all point to the same understanding:
🌀 Your thoughts are not you.
🌊 They are just passing waves on the ocean of your being.
✨ The real you is the one who watches.
Let’s explore what that means—and how it can set you free.
You Are the Observer, Not the Voice in Your Head
Michael Singer, in The Untethered Soul, describes the mind as a never-ending narrator. If we really pay attention, we notice that this voice:
Talks constantly—commenting, judging, worrying, predicting.
Contradicts itself—telling us one thing one moment and the opposite the next.
Rarely brings peace—pulling us into past regrets or future anxieties.
Singer invites us to imagine if this voice belonged to someone sitting next to us all day, narrating our every move:
"You should really call her. No, don’t call her, she’ll think you’re needy. Ugh, why are you always so awkward? You should have handled that better. Maybe you should move to another city—everything would be better then. No, that’s crazy, you wouldn’t survive."
Would we trust this person? No way. Yet we believe this inner voice without question, assuming it must be telling the truth.
But here’s the reality:
“You are not the voice of the mind—you are the one who hears it.” —Michael Singer
You are the observer, the awareness, the one who watches thoughts come and go.
This realization is where freedom begins. When we stop identifying with every anxious or self-critical thought, we create space between who we truly are and the mental noise that has been running the show.
The Ego and the Illusion of Identity
Ram Dass, a spiritual teacher blending Western psychology with Eastern wisdom, had a profound moment of awakening in meditation. He realized:
"I am watching my thoughts. But if I can observe them, then who am I? I must be something beyond them."
This is the great undoing of the ego—recognizing that:
If I can observe my thoughts, I am not them.
If I can watch my emotions, I am not them.
If I can see my fears, my patterns, my anxieties, then I am something deeper.
So what are we, if not our thoughts?
Ram Dass teaches that we are the awareness beneath it all—the unchanging presence of God in us, the soul, the stillness.
“The thinking mind is what gets in the way of enlightenment. Your soul witnesses it all. The trick is to identify less with your thoughts and more with the part of you that notices them.” —Ram Dass
Imagine how differently we would move through life if we believed this. If we saw every thought as passing weather, rather than the whole sky. If we remembered that our essence is still, spacious, and unshaken by the noise of the mind.
You Are a System, Not a Single Self
Modern psychology also supports this idea. Ego State Therapy (and Internal Family Systems, or IFS) recognizes that we are not one singular identity—we are a system of parts that were formed by our experiences.
That inner voice? It’s often just a part of you, shaped by the past:
The Inner Critic – Formed to keep you from failure or rejection.
The Anxious Protector – Always scanning for danger, trying to keep you safe.
The Performer – Believing love must be earned through success.
When we believe these parts are who we are, we suffer. But when we notice them with compassion, we can step back and say:
"Oh, that’s my anxious part speaking. I don’t have to believe it."
"There’s my inner critic again. I see you, but you’re not in charge."
This is inner freedom—learning to observe your mind rather than being controlled by it.
“Be Still and Know”
Long before neuroscience and therapy named these truths, Christian mystics were pointing us toward the same wisdom:
“Be still and know that I am God.” —Psalm 46:10
This verse holds so much more than comfort. It is an instruction, an invitation:
🕊 Be still. Step out of the racing mind. Breathe. Let go.
✨ Know. Truth is not in overthinking—it’s in the deep, quiet knowing beneath all of that.
🌿 I am. God is not found in mental striving, but in presence.
💛 God. We meet the divine not in the chaos of our thoughts, but in the stillness beneath them.
Christian contemplative traditions, from Teresa of Avila to Thomas Merton, teach that the mind will always spin its wheels, but God’s presence is found in silence, in awareness, in simply being.
How to Stop Believing Every Thought
If you’re ready to step back from your thoughts and into deeper awareness, here are some practices that help:
1. Notice the Narrator
When your mind starts spiraling, pause and ask:
Who is speaking right now?
Is this thought true, or just familiar?
What happens if I don’t believe it?
2. Use the “I Am Watching” Practice
Close your eyes.
Notice a thought arise.
Instead of engaging with it, say: “I am watching this thought.”
Feel the space between you and the thought.
3. Practice “Be Still and Know”
Sit in quiet for 5-10 minutes.
Breathe in “Be still.”
Breathe out “And know.”
Let thoughts pass without attachment.
4. Name Your Parts
When an anxious or critical thought arises, name it:
“That’s my inner critic.”
“That’s my fear-based part.”
Remind yourself: These are just parts, not my true self.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not the Storm, You Are the Sky
Your thoughts are like weather patterns—shifting, unpredictable, and sometimes chaotic. But you are not the storm.
You are the sky—vast, open, untouched by passing clouds.
So when your mind races, when fear tells a story, when the critic whispers in your ear—pause. Breathe.
And remember: You are not your thoughts. You are the one who sees them. And that awareness?