Men’s Mental Health Matters
By Adam Colling, LMHC – Bungalow Counseling
For most of my life, I bought into the same message so many men hear growing up: Be strong. Don’t show weakness. Suck it up and move on. Help others and they will love you and then you don’t have to let them see you. Like a lot of guys, I learned to push through, keep my emotions locked up, and avoid anything that made me feel vulnerable. And honestly, I thought that was just how it was supposed to be.
Until a season came and I realized it wasn’t working anymore.
Underneath the surface, I was carrying more than I knew—stress, anxiety, anger, self-doubt, and so much shame. But I didn’t have the tools to talk about it, let alone process it. Like so many men, I had learned to suppress emotions instead of confronting them. I had built walls instead of true relationships.
And then, I was told to go to therapy… that I was the problem and so after years of being a therapist… I too stepped into therapy.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it changed my life.
Now, as a therapist, I work with men every day who feel just like I did—stuck in patterns of avoidance, shame, and disconnection, unsure of how they got here or how to move forward. I help men understand their stories, break free from old patterns, and build healthier, more authentic lives.
I believe men’s mental health matters, and it’s time we started treating it that way.
The Silent Struggle: Why Men Don’t Get the Care They Deserve
Men rarely get the mental health care they deserve, not because they don’t need it, but because they’ve been taught not to ask for it.
🛑 “Therapy is for weak people.”
🛑 “Talking about emotions won’t solve anything.”
🛑 “Real men just deal with it.”
These are the messages passed down through generations—messages rooted in toxic masculinity, shame, and cultural conditioning. The result? Men suppress their struggles until they manifest as anger, addiction, avoidance, or burnout.
As Gabor Maté says:
“The attempt to escape from pain creates more pain.”
The longer we ignore what’s happening inside us, the more it shows up in our lives—through strained relationships, work stress, unhealthy coping mechanisms, or a constant sense of being disconnected from ourselves.
But there’s another way.
Understanding Your Story: How Did You Get Here?
Every man I work with has a story—one that shaped who he is today.
Maybe you grew up in a home where emotions weren’t talked about—so you learned to keep everything inside.
Maybe you had a father who only showed anger, never softness—so you believed vulnerability made you weak.
Maybe you were taught that your worth comes from achievement and success—so you push yourself to exhaustion, afraid of what happens if you stop.
These patterns don’t come from nowhere. They were formed to protect you.
The Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) , which is the therapy that changed my life when I started therapy…. says:
“All parts of us are welcome. Even the ones that seem destructive were originally there to help.”
That’s why blame and shame don’t help—but curiosity does. When we start looking at our own patterns with compassion instead of judgment, we begin to understand why we do what we do. And from there, we can start to change.
The Work: Learning to Feel, Heal, and Grow
The men I work with often say the same thing: “I don’t even know where to start.”
That’s where therapy comes in.
At Bungalow Counseling, we help our clients:
✅ Identify their emotions – Learn to recognize and name what you’re actually feeling instead of just pushing it down.
✅ Understand their story – Discover how your past shaped your patterns, and how to rewrite the narrative.
✅ Develop emotional intelligence – Build healthier ways to process emotions, communicate, and connect.
✅ Break free from shame – Realize that you are not broken—you are just carrying burdens that were never yours to hold.
And here’s the thing: this work isn’t about becoming a “softer” man—it’s about becoming a stronger, more whole one.
As therapist Terrence Real puts it:
“True strength isn’t about power over others—it’s about power within yourself.”
The Invitation:
If you’ve been feeling stuck, disconnected, angry, exhausted, or just numb… If your partner, parent, or friends have been nudging you to talk to someone….you’re not alone. And you don’t have to stay here.
Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you—it’s about helping you return to yourself.
It’s about learning how to:
✔ Show up for yourself, not just everyone else.
✔ Break the cycle of avoidance and actually feel.
✔ Be the kind of partner, father, or friend you truly want to be.
If you’re ready to do this work, I’d love to walk with you. Because you deserve it. Your relationships deserve it. Your future deserves it.
📌 Reach out today. Let’s talk. Your first step toward healing starts now.